A Day In The Life A Satire of Teenage Life in America?
             One morning, Dana woke up and felt fat. Fat and ugly. Now, it's a given that at six in the morning, no one feels too hot about themselves, but this was a feeling that often stuck with Dana throughout the day. She knew she wasn't fat, per se, but she thought she could stand to lose a few pounds, or perhaps place those pounds elsewhere on her body. She sighed, and then heaved herself out of bed. As she walked to the bathroom, she caught a drowsy glimpse of her messy floor. There were magazines all over the place, with pictures of models whose daily regimen was three reps of sticking their finger down their throat. Dana took special care to step on the face of a particularly bright-smiled, empty-stomached young woman who was poised on the hood of a sports car, wearing a precariously short dress that could have been airbrushed on. Her face crumpled upon impact, much like the flashy red car would if it were driven into a brick wall. The bathroom door was locked. Normally, this would be a good thing, but this time she was on the wrong side of the door. She knocked, and she heard her brother's voice come muffled through the door. "What?" he said. 'What are you doing in there?" Dana asked. "What do you THINK I'm doing in here?" her brother replied. "Well, either you had way too much to drink last night, or you're taking a shower," Dana retorted. There was no response from his brother. She hoped he had slipped on the tub floor and been knocked out upon his encounter with the tile. "Hello?" she called, "I need to use the bathroom! I need to get ready for school!" "It's my turn! You were supposed to get up an hour ago!" Apparently her brother was conscious, after all. "An hour ago?! What the hell are you talking about? It's six! Did the earth rotate a bit faster this morning or something?" Dana had no idea what her brother was talking about. "Apparently, Dana, you forgot ...