Ballet
Before I begin this quest of analysis of myself in the ballet world, I would first like to ask a question. Do you believe that it's possible for someone to detest themselves so much in a specific genre of dance that they are almost willing to give up completely? I am having serious issues with ballet as an art form, an expressive tool, or what have you, and I think you'll notice this when I critique myself. Based on what I have seen through watching the video in class ballet and me do not mix. I may have wonderful phrasing, but that to me doesn't cover the inability to do ballet period. On flat, for crying out loud, my turn out looked nonexistent as well as my ability to point my feet. Rotation has always been an issue for me and I feel as though it will be forever no matter how hard I work. On the emboîtes as well as my grand tours proved this statement. My knees mine as well
I basically lost the good thing going for me, which was timing. My pirouettes were awful because I wasn't turning out my passe-ing leg enough and I wasn't lifted as much as I should have been in order to complete the turn successfully. It doesn't always get the job done, at least not for me it doesn't. The day we practiced in class I had a bad ankle ( I think I still do, we should talk about this). I have realized that all the confidence in the world isn't going to get you to look the way you want and dance the way you want. I feel as though in class I display a better performance quality because I'm allowed to enjoy the movement with out added pressure. In the face of all this, however, the positive aspects of this combination was that I hit all the landmarks and directional qualities as well as staying true to the phrasing. You allow that nervous, tense feeling to take over and toss all knowledge of technique out of the window. I want to have good technique combined with artistic skills. Even if I didn't have good technique though, I always had confidence and I feel that is slipping. On the second set of emboîtes I was definitely behind on the music because I am now realizing that it takes more work to get off the floor, and during the soutenu turn I realized it takes less work.
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