Communication Between Men and Women in Today's Society
With the advent of technology in the present day, it seems face-to-face communication is becoming a more and more of a difficult process. E-mail and instant messaging has made easier to communicate but unfortunately, has not brought us closer together. This isn't the first time our society has had problems effectively communicating. Since the beginning of time it has been thought men and women have had difficulty communicating especially in their personal relationships. Two authors, Deborah Tannen and John Gray, discuss, the common communication problems between men and women, their causes, and solutions. Their critic's thoughts show other's thoughts about this important topic. Deborah Tannen has written several best-selling books about language and communication (8). John Gray has also written several books. Men Are from Mars and Women are from Venus, the first of his series, has sold over six million copies worldwide and has been translated into forty different languages (16). Unlike Deborah Tannen, who is a linguistics professor at Georgetown University and started her research in an academic setting, John Gray initiated his career as an assistant to transcendental meditation leader Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and then became a w
He says that men speak Martian and women speak Venusian. She uses the familiar metaphor: a wife is very displeased because she made breakfast for her husband and all he wants to do is read the morning newspaper. Gray states that if humans can understand that women talk in metaphors and men talk to gain pertinent information then today's society can resolve all of our communication problems in relationships (24-25). The ideas of Tannen and Gray are no exception. Another critic is Elizabeth Glieck, a senior writer at Time magazine, does not debate Gray's ideas, but instead attacks Gray's success. Gray believes men and women talk so much differently they might as well be from different planets. We always have such a fun time, and I love being with you. In contrast, Tannen has placed foot notes in the back of her book. Both Tannen and Gray have stated that communication problems between men and women are caused differences in the way we speak. Both the men and women of today's society do not understand how they failed or how else they should have behaved (12-13). She goes on to say the real problem is conversational style and that men and women have different ways of talking (8-16). Going back to her example of the man and wife at the breakfast table, Tannen assures her readers that women can observe a man's need to read the morning newspaper at the breakfast table without interpreting it as a rejection of her or a failure of their relationship (15-16). For example, she states in her essay, "Tower of Psychobabble", Gray has 1-800 numbers in the back of his books so readers can order his products. She writes about how many women are upset when their significant other does not talk to them at home. According to Gray, if a woman were to say, "We never go out" a man might react like this, "That's not true.
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