Your place in the family strongly influences how you cope with people and the world around you. You may recognize that your life was affected by being a first- or lastborn, or proceeded by a more powerful brother or mothering sister, but you probably have assumed that your experience was unique. Certainly, many individual traits and tendencies between brother and sisters are the products of a unique arrangement of genes, but birth order also plays a key role in shaping a child's personality. We've all heard the stereotypes: Firstborns tend to be perfectionists; middle kids, peacemakers; babies, spoiled rotten. But the reality is much more refined. Though kids in the same birth position often do share certain character traits, the variables within each family determine the degree to which they fulfill or defy the propensities of birth rank. The youngest of any family may be more freewheeling than the firstborn, but won't necessarily turn out to be a brat.
             Before any siblings come along, oldest children get the lion's share of their parents' attention. Mom and Dad have the time to sing songs with them during baths or read them extra books before bed. As only children for a while, they're the first to be the focus of their parents' love and affection and the first to wow the grown-up by reaching major childhood milestones. All that undivided attention can translate into a highly successful individual. Meri Wallace, author of Birth Order Blues states that "If a parent is there providing encouragement, a child can gain tremendous amounts of self-confidence." So the oldest kid in the family often does very well both in school and at work because they tend to be focused and detail-oriented and work hard to please authority. Nanette Kirsch, a mother of three in Wexford, Pennsylvania, says that her firstborn child, Nathan, who is now 5, has always been very businesslike about what he nee...