What Is Love
There are a variety of angles to view love from; there is the metaphysical,religious, political, ethical, and last, but perhaps most common, that ofhuman nature. Statements and arguments concerning love most often alsoconcern its nature and role in human life by connecting it with thephilosophies of sex and gender. But, in a nutshell, love is an emotionthat has been explored in philosophy, religion, and literature. Whetherromantic, fraternal, or godly, love stems from a special affection forThere are three elements that seem to, in various combinations, definedifferent stages and types of love (Sternberg, 1986). Intimacy, which isthe basis of friendship and a close, personal relationship, is one element. Another is passion and involves having a great enthusiasm for someone.And commitment can be explained as loyalty and devotion to someone.Friendship requires liking someone and involves intimacy. Infatuation or'love at first sight' is a good example of when passion comes into play.Charity is a form of empty love, which involves commitment but little, ifanything, more. Passion with intimacy equals romantic love, whereascompanionate love is a combination of intimacy and c
As a relationship with a loved one grows over time, the relative strengthof each element tends to change (Sternberg, 1986). " Whenthey first fall in love, she continues, couples often display signs ofsurging dopamine. 'Being in love' as opposed to 'loving' someone, is considered aninfatuation. Limerence can be clinically defined as an increase in emotional sensitivityand instability that results from a decline in the serotoninneurotransmitter in a person's biochemistry. Your brain is registering this attraction for each one; then you talk tothe third or fourth one, and whoosh -- you feel something extra. Sometimes, when it is realized that thefeelings are not mutual and if the situation is not handled carefully,people in the Limerence state of mind can experience severe depression,sometimes even killing themselves. A lover in an infatuated stateof mind can become very irrational, almost insane, and the desire forreciprocation often leads to ridiculous beliefs and behavior ("the onlyreason she called the police and got a restraining order is because herlove is so powerful that she needs to test it and see how powerful itreally is"; "if I cut carve his initials into my chest she will know howmuch I really love her"). Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University inNew Jersey, said, "What we're seeing here is the biological drive to choosea mate, to focus on one person to the exclusion of all others. Unreturned love is a major cause ofsuicide and it is also can cause psychotic behavior resulting in adangerous situation for the object of desire. Scientists using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machines to view changesin the brains of people in love have produced actual evidence of thedifferences in various states of love and of sexual attraction and arousal(Carey, 2002). Aconsummate love would have all three elements present. Love has to do with the concern one hasfor a loved one's well-being and feelings with little or no returnexpected. Another way in which limerence differs from love is that it tends to lastfor great lengths of time. They have increased energy, sleep less, eat less, andthey focus their attention on the details of their new relationship andbecome excited very easily.
Common topics in this essay:
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Dorothy Tennov,
Helen Fisher,
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relationship limerence,
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love concern,
sternberg 1986,
companionate love,
empty love,
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Acceptance Essays
