Comparison/Contrast
Few people would think to compare marriage to the military. However,being experienced with both, I realize that the two institutions have morein common than they seem to. For example, both involve a great degree ofcommitment, symbolized by a contract and manifested in a daily reminder ofone's selfless duties. Moreover, both marriage and the military involve asort of basic training, in which new bonds of family and friendship areforged and new habits learned. As I reflected on my two marriages and mymilitary service, the similarities between the two became even clearer. Ofcourse, the differences between marriage and military life are obvious: theformer involves none of the weaponry and battle tactics of the latter, atleast we hope. Furthermore, marriage is supposed to be much moreegalitarian than military social structures, even though this often is notthe case. Regardless of the glaring differences between marriage andmilitary life, both are social, political, and economic institutions that When one enters the military, he or she takes an oath and signs acontract. Similarly, marriage involves a contractual agreement as well.
Marriage and the military both involve commitmentand contracts, basic training, and combat scenarios. Forced to answer "Yes sir," or "Yes ma'am" to mysuperior officers, I learned the nature of obedience and social hierarchy. Hopefully marital arguments don't result in physicalcombat, but unfortunately many do. Often these reverberations are positive, as when new friendships are formedor wisdom gained. Although this is notthe case with most marriages now, both partners in the relationship mustlearn the value of humility. Both demand a totaltransformation of character and lifestyle. For instance, Icommitted to being in the reserves for a certain number of years. The other personbecomes the enemy. Likewise, when Igot married both times, I bonded with new friends and even acquired newfamily members. " In fact, most people believe that the first few years of amarriage are spent in wedded bliss: the honeymoon period. Most modern marriages do not involve the same typesof rigid hierarchical structures, but at one time the husband was in factviewed as the authority figure in the relationship. As I haveexperienced the initial stages of marriage twice, however, I can assertthat the beginning stages of wedlock are a lot like basic training for themilitary. Even after one leaves the military orleaves a marriage, the reverberations of the experience last a lifetime. In many cases, the goal of militarytraining is to become a viable peacekeeper; likewise, I have learned thatkeeping the peace in times of marital distress is far more important thanwinning an argument. When I signed my marriagelicense, I promised to spend my life with that person.
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