Shame and the Disappearance of Childhood
Today, a growing lack of shame permeates our society, especially inthe media. Postman notes, "The point is, simply, that without a well-developed idea of shame, childhood cannot exist" (Postman 9). Shame, andthe resulting embarrassment over shameful behavior, has nearly disappearedin our society. Postman continues, "With the gradual decline of shame,there is, of course, a corresponding diminution in the significance ofmanners" (Postman 88). Manners create courtesy and social interaction inour culture, but as Americans and their children interact increasingly onlywith media such as television, the need for manners and social interactiondiminishes. Because shame is not as customary in society, shame is nolonger a societal building block for civilized behavior. A good example ofthis analogy is the prevalence of "confessional" or "shock" talk shows thatencourage guests to bare their souls on national television. Televisionhas indeed become the "total disclosure medium," and because of this,Americans and their children are quite used to seeing guests on such showsas Jerry Springer tell their nastiest secrets for all the world to hear.Topics such as teenage pregnancy, adultery, even incest an
When children view theseshows, they believe this kind of talk is normal, and so, they do notdevelop a good sense of what is discussed and what is not discussed, andthey do not develop their own idea of shame. It makes children grow upfaster, it creates a society where nothing is shameful, and so, there areno boundaries and no limits. Children grow up seeing thesepeople on television who seem normal, and they might even seem like thepeople next door. In the past, adults kept "secrets" fromchildren, and made them understand that some things in society areunacceptable. In these television shows, often an alternative to the shamefulbehavior is not given, and so children who view the show may neverunderstand there are other ways to handle these problems. This affects childhood in many ways. They more they view these shows, they morethey believe this type of deviant behavior is acceptable and even normal. Children no longer understand that some topics aretaboo, or are shameful, and they do not understand the concept of shame. In the past, adultsmonitored the information they gave to children, and doled it out accordingto the child's age and ability to understand complicated subjects, such assex, marriage, and problems in the family. Secretsthat have remained in families for generations, such as abuse, incest, andadultery, are now coming into the open and being discussed, and beingtreated. Shame is not always a bad emotion, a littlebit of shame is a good thing that keeps society more focused and balanced. Thesethings may be true, but they are not really the most important details of amarriage, and some things should just not be said in public amongstrangers. d violence arediscussed as if they were the most normal everyday events on these shows,and it cannot help but affect those who watch these shows, especiallychildren and regular viewers. Without a sense of shame, our society is losingsomething, and it is affecting children by making them aware of things thatthey might never have thought about before. Some of these problems clearly should not be secrets, becausethey harm someone else.
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