Online Romance
In "Virtual Love," Meghan Daum explores the passion and pitfalls of online courtship. Online courtship, like its more tumultuous counterpart online dating, reveals the power of technology to alter the way people communicate. Body language, physical contact, and voice are key components of communication but are wholly absent in an online relationship. So when a relationship is pursued and developed online it becomes like an old-fashioned romance, notes Daum. Without the added stimuli of physical contact, the two parties can engage each other in Platonically loving discourse. The "getting to know you" phase lasts longer than it might in a physical dating environment where physical contact becomes paramount. Feelings of love and mutual respect emerge in the online environment and are just as genuine as they would be if the individuals met online. Therefore, the virtual reality of online courtship provides a way to return to the basics of love and traditional romance.Technology would seem to depersonalize a relationship. Yet as Daum points out, true emotional intimacy develops in a virtual environment more readily than in a real-world one for several reasons. First, and most obviously, no physical contact between the two individuals
Modern society is what's to blame for the inability of people to develop emotional intimacy; the Internet can in fact facilitate the goal of returning to the fundamentals of human love and communication. In fact, Daum's problem seems to have more to do with having unrealistic expectations than it did with poor chemistry. Online courtship may become especially poignant for homosexual couples who fear the consequences of meeting in public. Once an emotional bond is solidified, doing so might not be so difficult. The physical world sometimes comes crashing down on the daters' heads but it is up to the two individuals to develop the maturity and wisdom to see past a person's physical faults. Another drawback with online dating is described fully in Daum's article. At the same time, Daum's narrative explores the loneliness of the modern world that can only be partially resolved when developing online romances. Second, the online courtship allows for greater freedom of expression. Online soulmate-seekers have no way of really knowing who they are dealing with. They can overcome the disappointment and disillusionment of meeting in person: as Daum was unable to do. One or both parties might share false data about themselves: sending outdated photos, photos of other people, or misrepresenting their marital status. Assuming both parties are honest, the two can share intimate details about themselves: even things that might otherwise cause a great deal of shame such as being HIV-positive or having had an abortion. The problem, Daum notes, is "life itself," (p.
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Acceptance Essays
