ON FORGIVENESS IN JUDAISM
Our topic this morning is forgiveness at the end of life, and I have been asked to comment on this from the perspective of Judaism. Now, forgiveness is one of those topics like Mom and apple pie – it’s hard to imagine how anyone could possibly be opposed to them. This would be especially so if it could be shown conclusively that forgiving leads to better medical outcomes. After all, pikuakh nefesh – the saving of human life – is without doubt the most important value in Jewish ethics. (But I must admit to questioning how a proper double-blind, randomized experiment could be designed and implemented.)That said, it is important to appreciate that at the end of life Judaism emphasizes confession of one’s sins – vidui – rather than forgiveness, as the primary task confronting an individual. Traditional confession (never through an intermediary, as in Catholicism) has an important place in Judaism. Most people know of the yearly formalized confessions on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). Lesser known is the specific vidui in the final prayer for those on the edge of death. Though substantially having fallen out of use in the modern Jewish world, it is worth quoting this prayer as an example of the tho . . .
Against the advice of friends and the forebodings of his mother, he became foreign minister in February 1922. In the words of a famous Hassidic rabbi of 19th century Poland: People who talk about and reflect upon an evil thing that they have done are thinking upon the vileness they have perpetrated. And, in such cases, the ritual of Yom Kippur effects atonement. He told his mother "they couldn’t find anyone else to do the job. Teshuvah – repentance – is part of the structure of God’s creation; hence, the sinner is obligated to do teshuvah and the offended person is obligated to permit teshuvah by the offender. His father, Emil Rathenau, owned a small, not very successful iron foundry. This is not a reconciliation of heart or an embracing of the offender; it is simply reaching the conclusion that the offender no longer owes anything for whatever it was that he or she did. A woman abused by a man may never reach this level of forgiveness; she is not obliged, nor is it morally necessary for her, to do so. Historians estimate that, in the face of the British naval blockade, Rathenau’s efforts enabled Germany to continue fighting for one or even two years longer than would otherwise have been the case. Say to your son that, in the name and spirit of him whom he has murdered, I forgive, even as God may forgive, if before an earthly judge your son makes a full and frank confession of his guilt … and before a heavenly judge repents. The principle that mekhilah ought to be granted only if deserved is the great Jewish "No" to easy forgiveness. May these words give peace to your soul. Had he known my son, the noblest man earth bore, he would have rather turned the weapon on himself. For example, a woman who has been battered by her husband, or abused by her father, is not obliged to grant such a person mekhilah unless he has, first, desisted from all abusive activity; second, reformed his character through analysis of sin, remorse, restitution, and confession; and third, actually asked for forgiveness several times.
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