As I stood near the window-my hands resting both on the window sill and also on my cheeks, gazing towards the unknown, my mind on something, my concentration on something else, my eyes seemed to keep searching for something now meaningless, as though I am bound to find it but my weary eyes could bear no more. As I began to try to bring my eyes down, I gathered myself, I pulled myself together, I saw that it was quite meaningless to expect it;..........it was gone and my thoughts cannot bring it back. I knew; for instance that it was the truth but also that it was the lie too-the greatest lie of my life, a big mistake, a slice of my imagination. Despite the fact that if it was the truth it might have been something more or less similar to this may be with slight significant differences-if it was the truth however now it is the same as before. It is gone-gone too far away; I cannot bring it back no matter how hard I might try. My anger started to bottle up inside me. My temper that seemed to have been bubbling just beneath the surface all day, was now reaching the boiling point. But a sudden drop of water, a tear of rain, hit my face and started to slide down my cheeks. No, though it was raining outside and I could feel it, see it, hear it; it was something else. My fear, my anger, my misery, desolation, depression was moving down my face; I never thought that it would, I never gave it a chance to express itself but at this moment it was too much for a thirteen year old to bear it: let it express itself, let it move down for a change-unnoticed by-but me. I could still see in the dim lights of the sky the rain coming down and landing on the flat land in front of my eyes, as was the rain in my eyes which came to a halt as it neared the end of my face and allowed itself to drop on top of my hands-- in my heart with a very soft little thud, so soft it is quite undetectable by human ear. But as I readjusted myself with the dead silence enc
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