The other night I was takin the trash out. I heard ol'
Bessie, my cow carryin on like there was a snake in her
pin. I ran over and I said "Bessie, you best hush up!"
That's when I seen it. It was a round hunk of metal flyin
through the sky. At first I thought it was the top of my
grain bin. That's where I've been keepin my manure that I
use on m'gardern. I thought to myself "Oh Boy!
Someone's done thrown a match in there. That's when
this little green light shot right down from it and burn up
my okra patch. All of a sudden where that little green light
was, these creatures
All of a sudden I heard Bessie again,but when I looked over, they zapped that poor ol' cow upto their hunk of metal spacecraft. " Then they started gibberingback and forth again and I'll be dang if they didn't zap myold John Deere up on that ship too. I think they understood English too causewhen I told em what I thought of that spaceship, theystarted shootin' that laser gun at me. Then they madethe ugliest fact at me and started talkin Japanese back andforth at each other. I guess they must've realized how big my shotgunwas cause they got back in their ship and took off for thesky. I said " I knowabout all of your tests you run on them poor animals likeBessie cause I've been watchin' the X-Files on my big 10inch black and white TV. " I told em "I don't know much abouttakin' you to my leader but they're fixin to meet theirmaker if they didn't get on out of here. When I came back out, they said sumpthin like "Takeme to your leader. Everything's been pretty normal since then, exceptmy wife, Bell, got meaner cause I make her pull the plownow. I said "Yowweee!!!"Then I took off runnin' up the hill.