Zachary Taylor
Zachary Taylor was the twelfth President of the United States. He was a very interesting person. He was a crook, a gambler, a drunkard, and had a very short temper. One source claimed that "seeing Zachary Taylor sober was something few people could claim to have done." A short time after Taylor was born in 1784, he was given the peculiar nickname "muskrat head". The exact story behind this nickname has since been lost. Taylor was very sensitive when it came to his nickname. The sighting of this repulsive animal, or the mentioning of the animal's name, could send Taylor into a fury. When Taylor was six years old, he was being taunted by two of his classmates about his nickname. He punished them by chaining them to a windmill and feeding them large bunches of grass. On another occasion, at the age of sixteen, Taylor showed everyone that no matter who you were, he would become violent at the mere mentioning of the animal. On a family trip to the zoo, Taylor was escorting a young lady. The girl unknowingly and innocently pointed at a family of muskrats, referring to them as "queer-looking beasts". Zack was infuriated. He then turned monkeys, tropical birds, an alligator, and an antelope loose, and hurled a peanut vendor's stand into
His wife, Margaret Mackall Smith Taylor, survived him. They also had three children alive at the time of his death. Zachary Taylor was also known for his strange behavior. He liked to lure unsuspecting girls into his "secret clubhouse", located in the sub-basement of the Taylor home. He also seemed to have a special hatred for George Washington, whom he referred to as "that bark-toothed Whig sissy". When his father asked if was responsible for these acts, he answered, "What do you care, f--khead? You'll be dead soon anyway. He also hurled all seventy place settings into the Potomac River, which were paid for with a large $56,000 sum of taxpayer money. He once set a local paper mill on fire. He was the first president to be ridiculed in the manner that he was. He had been eating cherries and iced milk.
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