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Arranged Marriage

Everyone knows how hard it is to find a mate for marriage. Having said that, each person is free to decide how the mate selection will take place. Some people would rather conduct this selection by themselves, without any help, while others prefer to get help from an outside source, like their parents or a matchmaker. Before continuing it is wise to make a distinction between the traditional arranged marriage and the modern definition of an arranged marriage. The arranged marriages that happen by tradition in parts of Africa, most of Asia and a good portion of Eastern Europe are determined by the parents without the consent of the future couple. The modern view is very different from traditional view. Today's definition makes a distinct emphasis on choice, courtship and convenience. In most instances it is a service, provided by an agency, or a good friend. The purpose is to find a compatible mate, with the greatest number of similarities and the same primary objective: marriage. It is clear that the concept itself is controversial. Some people find it awkward and insensible to choose your lifelong partner using this method. Most young people tend to believe that the only way to choose a mate is to


date until you fall in love plan a wedding and get married. The structural features and split of roles of the husband and the wife give certain advantages in traditional arranged marriages, compared to the more modern version. A marriage requires a more durable foundation and it can not survive on love alone. There is not much research done in modern arranged marriages, so it is virtually impossible to compare the success rate of the recent ones versus the traditional ones. The purpose of an arranged marriage is to obtain a secure connection between people with similar interests, needs and goals (education level, religious beliefs, similar cultural values, and financial stability). The parents of both the man and the girl begin to communicate directly and a meeting is set up at the girl's house for the man's family actually to see the girl. The man being the head of the family and the woman being the caring wife and mother annuls the possibility of a separation. The visit is filled with phony exchanges of pleasantries and uninteresting conversations on varied topics with each topic being initiated by the go-between whenever he senses an embarrassing silence. The relationship strengthens between the couple as they discover interesting character traits and thoughts of their partner. The traditional arranged marriage is a contract between families, but not between individuals. The arranged marriage tends to be patriarchal in power structure: the wife is vested with the responsibilities of children and home, and the husband is responsible for providing and protecting. It is safe to say that you will have better chances for success in this commitment if you have countless qualities in common with your future partner. Recent trends have shown that the divorce rate of all marriages are rising, which maybe due to the fact that society is now viewing divorce in a less negative light and socially acceptable. The man's parents investigate the girl's family background before initiating the talks between the elders in the families. When a partner exhibits odd behavior, they compromise and learn to overlook instead of commiserating with themselves about making a wrong choice or being cheated because that does not spring as a surprise.

Common topics in this essay:
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Approximate Word count = 1065
Approximate Pages = 4 (250 words per page double spaced)

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