influences of art
When it came to showing my feelings and emotions through artistic expression, I was lacking immensely. In a sense, I was a very secretive and emotionless artist, which made it easy for me to draw, photograph, or write about a given topic that I didn't necessarily have feelings for, but at the same time I was acting as if I knew a lot about these things when I really knew little or nothing. I was given an assignment to photograph death and I had two weeks to do it. It seemed simple enough, I figured I would go to a cemetery and take a picture of Headstone of some child who died from a horrible drunk driving accident, or something of that sort. So I did and thought
I remember goin to school that week, not wanting to talk to anyone or do anything, especially a photo assignment on a local band for my school newspaper - but I did it anyway. It was unfortunate that it took the death of someone I held so close to help me learn how to capture true emotion, but it made me realize that through everything I do and capture in any expressionistic way, I am effected and able to effect others. I went back to the alley later that week to take pictures, and while I was looking through my camera at the alley, I began to truly understand and feel what I was doing, and why I was doing it. I fell against a wall and just sat there for a while thinking, but not about my cousin; I was thinking about how censored I was living my life, and how I never put effort into anything I did that had to do with what I considered my passion. In the early morning of September 15, 2000 my cousin, who I was very close to had been found in an alley, raped and murdered. I began a passionate relationship with my art at that moment, and I was finally able to connect my being with my work. I was so angered when I found out, I couldn't stop myself from crying for days and to make things worse, the media slandered her name with ignorant lies, as if they were trying to justify her death. On my way to the cafe where the band was playing I passed by the alley where my cousin was murdered. I don't know what made me want to see the place where someone had been brutally murdered, but when I did see it, I was overwhelmed with feelings that I physically, couldn't handle.
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Acceptance Essays
