An influential Personevent
It seemed like it would make her die, just speaking it. So I didn’t tell anyone, not even my best friends. At school I would slip into a fantastical dreamland, nobody there knew that I should be troubled, pensive. I put on my best front and paraded around the school halls with some sort of smile plastered on my face. At lunchtime I’d stare at my food thinking that my friends should know. I thought of a million different ways to tell them. Each time that I came close to telling them, I would think about their potential reactions. There would be the normal lunchtime banter going on, complaints about the ranch dressing, and I would blurt out, "Hey guys, my mom has breast cancer." The whole cafeteria would turn silent and the plastic forks would drop from their hands, making a sad little clinking noise. Then I would stare at my food mentally kicking myself for having opened my mouth. I chose to say nothing. I remember very clearly the day that I went to go sit with her while she got her chemotherapy. I only did this once because it was too hard for me. I walked down an overly-lit sterile hallway trailing behind my dad. When we reached her room I wished that I could j . . .
I wiped away my forming tears and gave myself a mental pep talk to be cheery. Each pill a tiny soldier waging war on my mother’s body. " We were both disappointed a few months ago when it dawned upon the two of us that the curls were finally falling out. I really grew up during those eight long months of fixing the family dinners, trying to be strong for her and trying to take over certain aspects of her role as "mom" when she couldn’t. There were always huge quantities of lemons in the refrigerator. Eventually her hair began to grow back in. Out of courtesy to my mom and fear that my friends would find out, I didn’t have them over to the house for a long time. Her shirt was partially unbuttoned so that the IV could be inserted into the porto-cath surgically implanted under her collarbone. I stayed alone in my room that night. It pulled us all together when we needed to be a strong unit. She was hooked up to three different kinds of poisons, and one normal IV. Eight months after she had discovered the tumor, she was done with treatment. ust keep walking, pretend I hadn’t seen her. I think that while hard to endure, her cancer has been good for the family.
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