OK... I'm going to ask you to listen very carefully. I'm going to be real straight forward here and I don't want you to think there is any underlying feelings here so take this word for word. The second worst thing you could do to me is not talk to me. The absolute worst thing you could do to me is not talk to me because u think I'm mad at you. I understand you think that I'm "bitter" about this but you're wrong. I guess you're not trying to talk to me about what happened between you and mike because u think I'll get mad or upset or you think it will hurt me. Actually you not talking to me about whats going on IS what is really making me so upset. You are compromising my integrity by thinking (after all the conversations we've had about this) that I would be upset at YOU about your decision to stay with mike. That makes me think, that you think, that I am just that shallow. You have to talk to me. I don't care how. I have so much respect for your painstaking decision that you had to make about this, and I've told u time after time that I wanted you to do whatever made you most happy. Even though (and I told myself I wasn't gonna say this) it really sucks for me.
             Another thing... we talked every night for about two weeks for hours on end, which did mean a lot to me... Then one day I get a 4 line E-mail that just scares and confuses the hell out of me. I send out a novel and don't hear from your for a week. I still haven't heard from you. Now I know you've been sick and I'm NOT mad. I just want you to know that the last week that I haven't talked to you has really sucked for that reason. I have no idea if you miss me or not and I have to assume that you don't because you've made no attempt to talk to me. Right now I think you just want me to go away so you can just move on with mike or whatever. I don't und
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