Essay Option #5
Self and Identity
The better which a person develops an understanding of themselves and of the other people around them, the better able they will be able to develop intimate relationships. A person who has a negative model of self and has a negative model of others , otherwise known as Fearful, is going to shy away from attachment and be socially avoidant which obviously is going to affect the crisis of intimacy versus isolation. The example describes a person who is hesitant to make long term commitments and resists urges to display intimacy, but is capable of forming a dependency on him by the other in the relationship. A Preoccupied person has a negative self model and a positive model of others. They often tend to be overly dependent and ambivalent. The example suggests a person who might be shy and conservative but is capable of not displaying their awkward feelings to the other person. A Secure individual has a positive model of self and others. They are comfortable with intimacy and autonomy and often do not have a difficult time in forming intimate relationships. The example describes this person as someone who is very capable of healthy relationships and good communication skills. It seems like a
Attachment styles of Secure individuals are described as passionate and selfless. So as the characteristics of self and others as well as attachment styles, are approaching security, strength, worth, and importance the better able that person is at creating, maintaining, and enjoying themselves . Differences in attachment beliefs and attitudes such as the amount of self doubts and self worth one has and ones ability to understand others are obvious from secure to ambivalent. An Ambivalent person tends to be very possessive of other individuals in a relationship with them. Differences in internal working models of self and others as well as differences in attachment styles can be accredited to various influences. As we move from secure people to ambivalent we can see varying levels of self consciousness and self worth. They are highly self confident and low on self consciousness with their partner. People act how they think they are suppose to, so their perception of reality is a major factor in determining how they act in , and while establishing intimate relationships. Secure people tend to feel that others are trustworthy and dependable while avoidant folks think that social situations are difficult to understand. Identity achievement comes from many years of exploring different roles and personalities. How they were raised in terms of different parenting styles and methods of child raising affect an individuals internal working models of self and others. They tend not to be very passionate and trustworthy in terms of commitment. They are both very self conscious and yet still interdependent on each other for support. And finally, a Dismissing person has a positive model of self but a negative model of others. All of the differences among the different models result from past experiences in the individual"tms life.