HTML**FONT SIZE=3 PTSIZE=10*Clearly alcohol was in charge and had been for
             years. It led the way by making our decisions and settling all of our critical issues. I,
             she, or we didn't -- but alcohol did. Specifically, my partner's addiction to alcohol
             was the most important force in our family. She drank every evening for at least two
             or three hours. Our child and I became addicted to her use of alcohol, and all of us
             served to keep the alcohol flowing. If we did not manage this each evening, then we
             argued, fought, and verbally abused each other. *BR*
             Hearing others' stories helped me break the rule about not trusting. I had disconnected
             from my feelings so much that I didn't know if I could trust what I saw or heard. When I
             was a child I heard, "Your father is just tired, honey." I also heard, "I never said that. You
             must have imagined it." Everything was so confusing that I became unsure of myself.
             Thank God that so many Al-Anon members validated my feelings. They helped me learn
             how to trust myself again, as well as other people. *BR*
             The hardest rule for me to break was the one that told me not to feel anything. It was also
             the most healing rule that I ever broke. I buried so much hurt, shame, anger, and betrayal
             for so many years that I became a robot. I couldn't cry, laugh, or feel any joy or pain
             before I came into this program. I felt numb. *BR*
             It was by breaking my family's rules about talking and trusting that I finally found the
             courage to break the rule about feeling. In Al-Anon I heard things such as, "Feelings are
             neither right nor wrong--they just are." I also heard, "You have to feel to heal." So, I
             began to let my feelings rise to the surface and finally come out a bit. No one ran away
             from me or said, "Stop that crying." No one laughed at me, either. Al-Anon members
             held out their arms, gave me a big hug, and said, "Keep Coming Back." *BR*
             ...