Its existence has been questioned no less than that of God, truth, and the limit to our universe. It has no textbook definition, because, like cold temperature, nobody has yet been able to agree on a concrete meaning of it. It is the key topic of countless songs, poems, books, works of art, plays, movies, and quarrels; and yet, we don’t even know if it exists. Nevertheless, when asked, most people will say that they have experienced the unidentifiable feeling of love.
Many people will agree that our need to be loved is just as basic and important as our need for water, food, and shelter. A human being can go without water for hardly more than a day, and food for a few days before he meets the inevitable ending. When this happens, several biological factors result in the shutdown of our bodies. But how does a person die from not being loved?
In The Drama of a Gifted Child, Alice Miller presents her personal theory on what makes us yearn for that elusive feeling of love. Like most deep-seated emotions, this longing stems from events in our early youth, according to Miller.
To better understand Alice Miller’s viewpoint, we must first define a key word in her philosophy. Narcissism is defined by Alice Miller as emotional disconnection, or the basis for a certain kind of personality construct. The Oxford Dictionary of English defines the word as "psychoanalysis, self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder." Miller believes that it is this condition which causes our never-ending search for the illusion of love. But where does narcissism itself arise from?
It has been determined that the human mind does not develop the ability to reason logically on its own until around the age of seven years in most people. Until then, we are all not only physically, but also emotionally, defenseless; anything can hurt us. C...