The search for the illusion of love

Length: 4 Pages 910 Words

Its existence has been questioned no less than that of God, truth, and the limit to our universe. It has no textbook definition, because, like cold temperature, nobody has yet been able to agree on a concrete meaning of it. It is the key topic of countless songs, poems, books, works of art, plays, movies, and quarrels; and yet, we don’t even know if it exists. Nevertheless, when asked, most people will say that they have experienced the unidentifiable feeling of love. Many people will agree that our need to be loved is just as basic and important as our need for water, food, and shelter. A human being can go without water for hardly more than a day, and food for a few days before he meets the inevitable ending. When this happens, several biological factors result in the shutdown of our bodies. But how does a person die from not being loved? In The Drama of a Gifted Child, Alice Miller presents her personal theory on what makes us yearn for that elusive feeling of love. Like most deep-seated emotions, this longing stems from events in our early youth, according to Miller. To better understand Alice Miller’s viewpoint, we must first define a key word in her philosophy. Narcissism is defined by Alice Miller as e Continue...

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Unfortunately this is something which can not be taught, or stopped unless we open our eyes to what Alice Miller is saying, and make ourselves aware of what we do to our children. But where does narcissism itself arise from It has been determined that the human mind does not develop the ability to reason logically on its own until around the age of seven years in most people. But this "love" that it finds is not real. Until then, we are all not only physically, but also emotionally, defenseless; anything can hurt us. Sociological studies have shown us that abused children often grow up to be abusive parents. Most of the harm which results in the substitution of the illusion of love for love, usually comes from the mother, the person with whom the child has the closest bond. Bibliography The Drama of a Gifted Child by Alice Miller. Consequently, the belief that what is trendy in terms of behavior, is the correct way to live, is not true. Hence, a seemingly insignificant display of annoyance by the mother has embedded itself eternally inside the young mind, and although it was never meant to do so, will follow this person wherever heshe goes, until heshe realizes it, and chooses to fight it. " Miller believes that it is this condition which causes our never-ending search for the illusion of love. motional disconnection, or the basis for a certain kind of personality construct. After an egg is fertilized, the miracle of its development into an infant is miraculous because it's so fragile, and so many things can go wrong. The Oxford Dictionary of English defines the word as "psychoanalysis, self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder. From this moment forth, the youth will grow and develop with this misconception about love in the back of his mind. Naturally, whenever the mother is upset with the child, he assumes that his mother will stop loving him, if he continues such behavior.


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