eating disorders
Knowing the fact that no human could be perfect, my determination to accomplish the impossible was merely unstoppable. I would never be satisfied with any of my accomplishments for they were never perfect enough. Instead of giving myself a pat on the back for the amount of effort I put into the work, I would pin point on the little imperfections I made. I thought putting my self- esteem down would literally make me accomplish my life goal. My term of being the "perfectionist" was to be accepted by everyone. My desire for being accepted in the society made me compare myself to the models and actresses that played the role of "perfectionism". These walking clothes hangers laughed and laughed in front of my "green" eyes for I felt jealousy because they had what I didn't have. Day by day, I would pile my bedroom floor with useless magazines featuring models that looked like they were ready to fall apart. I personally did not admire these so called "raging beauties", but because the society that I lived in called these so called "raging beauties" the role model of "perfectionism"; my goals were basically to lose weight and become the clothes hanger that everyone admired. I was at a hefty weight of 185lbs
I didn't want it and my purpose for getting it was for my mom. I seriously didn't want to lie to myself. My mom told me that if I overcame my eating disorder, that I would someday I would be able to go up and share my experience of how happy and dandy my life became after chanting. I have many many more years to go in life and I actually thank my surroundings for making me realize that life is hard but that doesn't mean that I have to give up on it. You many are familiar with a drug called "speed". No matter what I did, my self-esteem would never go up. After hearing my mom telling me that she would, I was beyond surprised. Because of me, my parents fought, and because of me, my dad drank more and more everyday. My experience with drugs was the most magnificent experience I have ever felt. It seemed like the depressions and the negative thoughts doubled as soon as I was sober. Maybe if I don't try so hard to please others but instead try to please myself, the right people will come by accepting me for me. You could start from the porter potties to a luxury style bathroom. Instead, she was so calm yet so strong. My dad called and at that time, I was beyond high to go home. I have to admit that I am smart and very bright yet I hate the fact knowing I'm leading it in a bad way.
Common topics in this essay:
Bulimia Binging,
Identity Knowing,
LOVE DRUGS,
Maia Maybe,
lose weight,
ready fall,
ready fall apart,
self- esteem,
looked ready fall,
didn't home,
fairy tale,
finally found,
looked ready,
seriously didn't,
didn't care,
getting drugs,
close heart attack,
told mom loved,
walking clothes hangers,
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Acceptance Essays
