V-day Satire
After serious consideration and years of technical and psychological studies, we the people have unanimously decided that as a matter of national importance, Valentines Day should no longer be commemorated on February 14th.Our studies have concluded that the Gregorian calendar, as we Americans know it, has been set up for those people who are involved in a romantic relationship. Spring is the time of mating, when animals as well as people find their soul mates. However there are always a few stragglers that never quite seem to find their "true love." Those who do not find their mate in this period of time are offered a second chance during what we would call a "summer fling."
But the joke is then back on them when they have to walk away from the corner empty handed while everyone else just shakes their head, or laughs and points. ps begin to blossom they celebrate Thanksgiving by spending the day at families houses, eating turkey with all the trimmings, and drinking the finest wine. Everyone has there own anniversaries for their birth, the day they got their braces off, or the day they just so happened to find "true love. We've all seen them, the people that walk around wearing mistle toe headbands as a last resort to connive a kiss, just a measly little kiss. Not everyone celebrates their birthday on July 10th, August 31st, or April 28th. Not only do the families strengthen their bond, so does the couple. Sincerely yoursThe People ------------------------------------------------------------------------**Bibliography**Myself. Now the poor lonely human, who hasn't had a very "thankful" Thanksgiving is giving it his/her all. But to these hopeless romantics it's the world. It is the fireworks on their forth of July and it is the feeling that lores them into a sens!e of false security as if they were loved throughout the holiday season. Everyone knows that you cannot very well go to a new year's party with out a date. This person has now been forced into a downward spiral that they will never again emerge from. The only logical solution to sacrifice their souls form the horror of Valentines Day that will arrive in six weeks is not to have it on a set day or in any particular month. Christmas in the 90's isn't about the birth of Jesus Christ anymore, it's about who can get the perfect tree, blinking lights as if there were a contest being held for the person who could stuff the most lights on one evergreen, carolers, candies, cakes, but most of all it's about the mistle toe. The next major celebrated event on the calendar is Christmas.
Common topics in this essay:
Valentines Day,
Jesus Christ,
Christmas Christmas,
Sincerely People,
valentines day,
Hometown USA,
Frank LoBiondo,
,
true love,
year's party,
mistle toe,
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Acceptance Essays
