After serious consideration and years of technical and psychological studies, we the people have unanimously decided that as a matter of national importance, Valentines Day should no longer be commemorated on February 14th.
             Our studies have concluded that the Gregorian calendar, as we Americans know it, has been set up for those people who are involved in a romantic relationship. Spring is the time of mating, when animals as well as people find their soul mates. However there are always a few stragglers that never quite seem to find their "true love." Those who do not find their mate in this period of time are offered a second chance during what we would call a "summer fling."
             As these relationships begin to blossom they celebrate Thanksgiving by spending the day at families houses, eating turkey with all the trimmings, and drinking the finest wine. Not only do the families strengthen their bond, so does the couple. The next major celebrated event on the calendar is Christmas. Christmas in the 90's isn't about the birth of Jesus Christ anymore, it's about who can get the perfect tree, blinking lights as if there were a contest being held for the person who could stuff the most lights on one evergreen, carolers, candies, cakes, but most of all it's about the mistle toe. Now the poor lonely human, who hasn't had a very "thankful" Thanksgiving is giving it his/her all. We've all seen them, the people that walk around wearing mistle toe headbands as a last resort to connive a kiss, just a measly little kiss. But to these hopeless romantics it's the world. It is the fireworks on their forth of July and it is the feeling that lores them into a sens!
             e of false security as if they were loved throughout the holiday season.
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