Coping with the loss of a loved one

I would imagine that nobody really knows how they would cope with the death of someone you were really close to until it actually happens. On Labor Day, September 1st, 2003, my Grandmother died. It had a very big impact on me as I was very close to her from my earliest childhood memories all the way up to a few days prior to her death. She was in the hospital for a few days before she actually died, but she was not conscious at all during this time. First, I received the call from my Mother telling me that she found Grandma collapsed on the floor unconscious, I didn’t know what to think. It almost seemed unreal at first, as if to say, “No, she’s fine.” in my head. Shortly after the call I was in my car and off to West Volusia Hospital to find out what was going on. I get there, and

the Triage Nurse takes me back to where Grandma is, back in Emergency. There she is, unconscious with all these tubes and wires connected showing that she is breathing and that she is stabilized, but when you try to speak to her there is nothing. I don"tmt break out into tears nearly as often, but it is still something that sits in the back of my mind when I am at work or school or just doing something that reminds me of the things we used to do together. My mother, aunts, uncles and cousins were gathered there to hear this news. I would burst in to tears as soon as I saw her and even though I did not want to, I would run out of the room to get my bearings back. For this reason, I would normally be off with friends doing something or just anywhere that I could go and keep my mind off of the fact that my grandmother was in the hospital, thankfully not in pain or at least so said the doctor. It was really hard to see her like this, here is the woman who taught me so many things and had such a huge impact on me, molding me into the person that I am today is just lying there. As for now, I still think about it. It was just too hard on me and it really was. Seeing my Grandmother like this was just too hard for me. It was on August 31st that the doctor delivered the news that she would continue to live, but she would not come out of the coma. No response, not even to the normal reflex tests. My mom would ask me, "Why Why won"tmt you come see your grandmother, this is going to be your last chance to say any words to her.