Movie Mania

It is now six thirty, and you still have not cast your final vote as to which type of movie you want to see. Since the hero is an undercover cop, he races with impunity—he’s the good guy having all this fun!

Romantic movies sell because when you watch them you don’ t have to worry about lots of action or excessive special effects, but these films will have you reaching for your Kleenex’s and blotting your eyes. You have tried almost every logical approach in trying to narrow down your choices but you can’t seem to decide on the suspenseful fast-paced speed film, the emotional, heartwarming love story, the crude and slightly immoral sex-packed drama, or the cold-hearted and ruthless violent flick to help you relieve your frustrations. For instance, the movie The Best Man is about an innovative writer, Taye Diggs, who is scared of commitment, and when faced with the challenge of telling his best friend about a book he had written, he acts like a coward. There were lots of scenes with gore and blood, such as the part in the movie where a soldier was injured and this partner was dragging him down the beach the next thing he knows is his legs are blown off by an incoming bomb! This is what attracts people to come and watch these type movies. For example, in the movie, Romeo Must Die, it is as if the camera is inside the body, photographing a metal rod pierce a man’s heart with a hiss. Likewise, a bullet rips through Mark Wahlberg while the camera records every second from inside his body. While Sarah Michelle Gellar plots to turn a naïve foe into a tramp, her stepbrother Ryan Phillippe sets his sights on deflowering the beautiful Reese Witherspoon, author of a "virgin manifesto" published in Seventeen Magazine.

Although movies containing illicit sex do not seem to have much of a storyline, they are the top-sellers. To make matters worse, one of the bridesmaids has obtained an advance copy of the book--and it's making the rounds with all his friends. However, after wasting all this time trying to decide on which type of movie to see, you come to the realization that all of this nonsense you are putting yourself through is totally unnecessary, and for that reason you decide to renege on your movie idea to make up with your boyfriend.