The Maasai

As the girl’s family accepts the gifts, they go to make up her required dowry, and are also reassurances that no one else may try to marry the girl. The wife is responsible for running the household, but has little say in making major decisions. If any of these needs, such as having his children and being given food and protection, are not fulfilled a wife can return to his parents. Only after paying the fine of a heifer or a brew of honey beer will he be allowed to marry one of their daughters. The girl’s parents wait for the man to openly declare his intentions. The bride and groom are both blessed and washed with milk, and green grass is tied onto their shoes and clothes. Each member of her new family, her husband’s father, mother, brother, sisters and even his friends, gives her a present of livestock. The bride is warned not to look back toward her family’s kraal until she has reached her husband’s place, for it is believed that if she does she will turn into stone out of grief for what she is leaving behind. The dowry is more of a means to legalize the marriage than to bring wealth to the girl’s family. The first wife retains seniority in kraal affairs, but may not necessarily command her husband’s affection. The man will obtain some honey, which he will give to his mother. He also has to be careful to show great respect to the senior elders who supervise the new generation of elders, since, should this respect fall short, he could be fined. However, the Elders (Ilpayiani) are probably the most important people of all in Maasai society. If the divorce does go through, the wife’s clan will have to repay the dowry and the wife may then be given away to another man. If the girl’s family continues to accept the gifts, the marriage will take place.