Cellphone Rant

Maybe it’s because cell phones have become the trendy new item, like pants. I just can't see how telling your fellow Abercrombie-clone that "We're

wearing the exact same thing today!" is a valid use of the over-abundance of air time

awarded to the oh-so babied society of Mommy/Daddy's little princes and princesses that

can ask for another race car even though the insurance is throwing them into bankruptcy

because they totaled the past three Mustangs by wrapping them around telephone poles

and other road paraphernalia all because they had to find a phone number to call a friend

while driving 75 in a school zone and neglecting the right turn they had to make. High-profile careers such as doctors and other

healers that we have put too much reliance on need to be contacted when an emergency

presents itself. "

Why is it so important that everyone have the ability to get in touch with anyone

at any given time whether they like it or not? I used to enjoy the phone tag played at

home on a regular phone that didn't cause tumors the size of footballs to grow out of the

side of my head. I feel that cell phones are an important tool

when used properly and effectively. ckoning to annoy the not-so-innocent public with the

insatiable urge to raise our voices to that high level reserved for Jerry Springer guests and

Televangelists into the receiver your receptionless handset just so that the probably

nonlistening party on the other end can hear all about the size, color, and frequency of the

contagious blue fungus on your teeth, or some other too-hot-for-TV topic. Not just have one, but have one smaller and with more

bells and whistles than the person’s handset sitting next to you with the Birkenstocks and

Abercrombie shirt that shares a striking resemblance to everyone else’s.

Do me a favor and use the cell phone for what it was meant to be, an emergency

device.

Cell phones should come with a label on the side that says do not use while

operating heavy machinery because I would rather not be run off the road by someone

failing to yield on the highway in their Ford Excursions, Lincoln Navigators, and other

single-seater vehicles. Plus the over-stressed, underpaid teacher who hasn't taken the hyper-tension

medicine they need to keep from exploding at the sound of every student's incessant "I

don't get it" and the ever-present "You didn't tell me about that" can hear Daddy's pride

and joy (truck) on the phone just to take it up and file it under "G" for "God help us.