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The Effects of Divorce on Children

The effects of divorce on children might be likened to lighting striking a structure that is already compromised. The results can range anywhere to setting the entire building ablaze to merely putting a few cracks in the foundation. That more and more families are falling into crisis is evident by the demands placed on "help" lines and services which aid families. A Toronto-based "Kids Help" line reported that it receives over 4000 calls daily from stressed parents filled with "anger, resentment and despair" (Verburg, 1997). The Alberta College of Physicians and Surgeons reported a 70% increase in the use of Ritalin, a drug used to treat hyperactivity and inattentiveness in children, between 1991 and 1994 (Verburg, 1997). Mental health services have also experienced a dramatic rise in demand over recent years. Dr. Michael Ferri, a psychiatrist practicing in Grande Centre, Alberta, Canada, places much of the blame on the increasing divorce rate. "We need to guard against over-treatment for children victimized by divorce," (Ferri, 1998). "These children are dealing with the separation anxiety, which can lead to them thinking they've created the problem. They don't need psychotherapy; they need parents who understand t


Some, particularly teenagers who have low self-esteem, will turn to food as a means of alleviating the anxiety that are experiencing. Parents under the stress of such a major life change, may develop new behaviors that are not in the best interests of teenager. By comforting themselves, they gain some measure of control in an uncertain world (Shapiro, 1996). Parents who are feeling the guilt of divorce try to overcompensate with their children. " It is an age characterized by self-centeredness. Just as they did when the child was a toddler, parents have to know when to give in to their wishes and stand firm. In more extreme cases, antisocial behaviors such as shoplifting may emerge. According to Friedman, concern for the welfare of children has played a negligible role in the issues surrounding divorce legislation (1996). Ferri sees incompetent parenting as a contributing cause. Such a role is inappropriate for the child and can cause serious complications that ultimately hinder the adolescent's development (Shapiro, 1996). This, of course, depends on the parents create a workable co-parenting arrangement (Holman, 1997). He states, "Kids need firm limits on their behavior. Worry, rejection, loneliness, conflicted loyalties and guilt are all part of the experience (Holman, 1997). Dealing with the provocative behavior of a teenager can often be beyond the scope of parents who are going through the emotionally wrenching procedure of divorce. Ferri emphasizes that children require structure and limitations.

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