“She doesn’t try,” “She must not want to get good grades,” “She’s just lazy.” That’s what my parents and teachers always thought about me. Every time a report came home my mom would give that sigh, that look, and then of course – the speech.
“I just don’t understand. Why don’t you do your homework?” she would ask.
“I don’t know,” I would reply, every time.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“…I just don’t know.”
I wasn’t exactly a bad student; I just never did my homework. I always paid attention in class and got good grades on tests. Whenever I did turn in an assignment or project, I aced it. Without regularly turning in my homework, however, my grades were consistently low. My mother never believed me when I said that I “didn’t know.” The truth is: I didn’t. I would sit down and try to do the work, with my book and papers and pens and pencils and everything else that I needed. The work just never got done. I really tried, and I wanted to do well. I hated being the one that never had a paper to pass to the person on my left. I have no idea what went
The medication worked wonders. I am here to help you if you are having a tough time coping with this. I was so happy that there was a reason; that this wasn"tmt just me being lazy all the time" and that nobody had to be confused any more. Being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder completely changed the way I looked at myself. I blamed myself for the grades I got, thinking that I had finally put the blame in the right place. My self esteem went up almost as fast as my grades did. I did almost all of my assignments, but I was still getting back into the habit of "caring" about doing the homework again. I stopped blaming myself for something that nobody really knew the culprit of. They were all sick of being confused, and so was I. We have a number of support groups available"" and so the psychologist rambled on. "I will now be your psychologist. Shouldn"tmt I think about what happened last time I skipped my homework Shouldn"tmt I remember all the times I got grounded for it, and how much I hate not having my work during class the next day Shouldn"tmt I remember how embarrassing it is when my friends compare grades and I"tmm the only one who doesn"tmt want to say My family began calling me apathetic. Everyone thought that I just didn"tmt want to do it.