Some say when a man grows with time, he sacrifices his innocence. This theme is reoccurring throughout the novel Bless me, Ultima, by Rudolfo Anaya. The deprivation of Antonio's innocence, (the main character in the novel) is attributed to witnessing tragic deaths, being torn between two families and constantly observing irresponsible adult behavior.
             The fact that Antonio realizes that life is not a fairytale, he also witnesses violence. For instance, When Tenorio kills Ultima's owl which is her spirit, he sees his own father "[holding] the smoking pistol, aimed at Tenorio, [and] a second shot was not needed." (259). The sight of seeing his own father kill another man, at seven years of age, paralyzes Antonio, and innocence is forgotten. . Anthony's father tries to turn him away and protect him from the death scene but it is already to late, he witnesses a brutal murder. Antonio and the boys spot Florence's body floating in the water from the Blue Lake, and Cico, "[Pulls] and [try's] to tear the dead weight of his body from the waters of the lake"(240). Antonio never ends up showing Florence the golden carp and he starts to question his beliefs in God.
             As Antonio followed Narciso, and saw that the townspeople killed Lupito at the bridge, " [Antonio] somehow lost [his innocence]. Perhaps the Ilano was like [him], as [he] grew up the innocence was gone"(168). By seeing evil in the world, Antonio carries that evil with him and the evil starts to overpower him, causing him to lose sight in God. By witnessing the death and sin of yet another man, Antonio's innocence that he once had as a baby has vanished and he can not gain it back. Murder and the evil power of sin inters
             into Antonio's world and ends up taking away his purity, which in the end turns out to be his innocence.
             Facing the truth about religion and faith confuses Antonio. For example, when
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