The aspects of my behaviors and physical appearance made it way beyond difficult to blend in within my peer groups from childhood, school years, college years, and even up to today. First of all, I am Native American. My father spoke broken English and I was home schooled from the age of three until first grade. My father was red skinned and I was also dark brown, so we were immediately identified as "outcast" and the lowest of minorities.
             Our behaviors were of Native American traditional ways and my peers did not understand my hair always in braids and our cultures jewelry that I wore. They despised the fact that I was so called "smarter" than they were and the boys saw me as a "conquering toy." My behavior turned to self-defense overnight. I was constantly made fun of due to having to take IQ tests twice a week and my father was always fighting the principal because she said there were schools for our kind. She ended up putting me in a trailer with the other minorities and away from the "white kids."
             Right before my father died, we moved near family that understood our ways, how we were, and my fathers' strictness on education. My life finally became somewhat normal. I still had to fight my way to get to my classes and eventually became an avid bully within the other minority groups. My boyfriends were all minorities: Italian, Hispanic, and African American. The reason behind dating minorities was the "conquer the Native attitude" that they had.
             The psychological affects are obvious, I am an overachiever, fearful of commitment, hard on myself, attempt to cover up my heritage traits such as dying my hair and covering up my natural blue-black hair, wear baggy clothes to cover up my skin color and body, and have been diagnosed with an anger disorder.
             The social consequences were isolation or staying within all the minority groups, which I still do today. However, I stay a...