Tender at the bone Ruth and her Mother
Ruth Reichl makes it obvious from the beginning of “Tender at the Bone”, that she grew up in a far from ordinary family, her mother being the cause of much of this weirdness. Her mother plays the central role in her family and thus has a powerful impact on Ruth. This impact is vast and cannot be defined as entirely positive or negative, but it can be said that Ruth’s mother has had such an intense influence on Ruth that many of her choices and actions later in her life are determined by those early years spent with her mother. One of the first things Ruth mentions about her mother is her love for everything exotic. From her choice in food, to her choice in home décor, Ruth’s mother is the extreme experimentalist. She doesn’t conform to the standards of society, be it by way of her “everything stew”, which is admittedly made from 2-week-old turkey, or by her entirely gold gilded bathroom. While some would say this is merely quirky, it goes beyond that, to Ruth’s mother, her peculiarities and strange behaviors are a source of pride. She is not ashamed of her ways, and openly shares her latest recipes, even if they do cause a minor outbreak of food poisoning. This attitude affects Ruth greatly; She adopts an ability to look . . .
Ruth was never a slave to the norm; she never felt she had to conform, because of her mother willingness to be such an individual. Ruth’s choices in life are reflective of this free spirit, from her choices of where she lives, to her career; Ruth always followed her own path, and she has her mother to thank for that. Ruth’s mother is such a presence that she easily overpowers Ruth’s quiet and reserved father. The realization that she has neglected her relationship with her father is very painful for Ruth, yet she can’t do anything about it, for her mother continues to take all her attention; eventually, she accepts the limited relationship and moves on. She wants to move, and eventually does, but she experiences a lot of difficulty doing so because she knows her family may easily fall apart without her. While Ruth has her mother to thank for her non-judgmental perspective, Ruth has also been severely held back by her mother. Pat is the free flowing hippy, she is also the complete opposite of what Ruth is supposed to be, the conservative, well-off, stable woman. Ruth feels suffocated and overburdened by the responsibility of having to look after her mother constantly, and is put under an enormous amount of stress which she cannot escape. At times she is overly enthusiastic and full of life and optimism, the next, she’s used up and unable to accomplish the smallest of things. This is first really seen when she befriends Serafina. Ruth’s mother craves so much attention from her daughter and thus willingly takes any attention that Ruth might have paid to her father. Serafina should have been “off limits” in terms of friendship to Ruth, social barriers should have held her back from developing a close relationship with her, yet Ruth does not let the fact that Serafina is black, and eventually a black activist, stand in the way of her being Serafina’s closest companion. Obviously, this erratic and unpredictable behavior gets her into a deal of trouble, and it is Ruth who must come to her rescue. At one point, Ruth experiences a full scale panic attack on the subway, because her father has just had to plead and beg her to come home, as her mother had gotten herself in over her head once again. For Ruth Reichl, her mother is the driving force in her family and the central figure in much of her life.
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Acceptance Essays
