Description of May’s Concept
“There is a belief that love heals all and that if one does not have it, one is a failure.”(Monte, 1999, P.591.) People have sought love as a solution to all their problems, but now has become a problem in itself. May has discussed his theory of love in depth in Love and Will. Love and Will describes and Beneath the Mask, Monte repeats May’s four different forms of loving. Agape or Caritas or Care, Sex or lust or libido, Eros and Death, and last is Philia. May states that we have created a sort of Schizoid World, a numbness against all problems and feelings. This numbness causes uncaring and therefore an unmotivated life. This numbness is also the cause of violence because people feel as if they don’t have an impact on anyone’s life, which causes them to resort to physical impact, because they are unable to make an emotional connection.
The first form of loving is Agape or Caritas or Care. It is the love for the wellbeing of others and self. Form the beginning of life care is essential, it is what humans need to survive. A person must care in order to accomplish anything, from having a meaningful sexual relationship or friendship to taking care of the self. Agape or Caritas or Care is th
Critique of May"tms TheoryI found it very difficult to critique May"tms theory, I agreed with much of what he stated. ""anxious overemphasis on achieving the orgasm and the great importance attached to "satisfying"tm the partner. "In May"tms terms, Sex has been separated from Eros" (Monte, 1999, P. )Eros is the Greek god of love (a progenitor, a creator, and the source of life). Furthermore, the technical preoccupation robs the woman of exactly what she wants most of all, physically and emotionally, namely the man"tms spontaneous abandon at the moment of climax. Third motive is that there is a need to prove oneself competent. 40) May describes as sex having become something mechanized and depersonalized, he feels that there is no joy or caring in sex anymore. ) My friend looks at sex and love in this way. The thirst to have a relationship grow. I found what his theory on love very interesting; his four forms of love are in-depth and explained well. She disregards her own feelings in order for her to try to be identical to her partner"tms feelings. An example, in dreams, is when a patient dreams of the death of a person they are in love, or later realize they are in love with. The third form is avoiding, defying, fear by reenacting this potentially life-producing activity. The forth and last form of love is Philia.