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Love~Rollo May

"There is a belief that love heals all and that if one does not have it, one is a failure."(Monte, 1999, P.591.) People have sought love as a solution to all their problems, but now has become a problem in itself. May has discussed his theory of love in depth in Love and Will. Love and Will describes and Beneath the Mask, Monte repeats May's four different forms of loving. Agape or Caritas or Care, Sex or lust or libido, Eros and Death, and last is Philia. May states that we have created a sort of Schizoid World, a numbness against all problems and feelings. This numbness causes uncaring and therefore an unmotivated life. This numbness is also the cause of violence because people feel as if they don't have an impact on anyone's life, which causes them to resort to physical impact, because they are unable to make an emotional connection. The first form of loving is Agape or Caritas or Care. It is the love for the wellbeing of others and self. Form the beginning of life care is essential, it is what humans need to survive. A person must care in order to accomplish anything, from having a meaningful sexual relationship or friendship to taking care of the self. Agape or Caritas or Care is the prerequisi


Many people suffer from things like impotence and performance anxiety. The third form is avoiding, defying, fear by reenacting this potentially life-producing activity. ) In May's four forms of love one is sex, but sex is also mentioned in another one of the three remaining Eros and Death. She is frightened that he may not feel the same way about her, that he will not like her as much. First is a realization and recognition of our own mortality and finding great appreciation in things that give us pleasure. The thirst to have a relationship grow. They try to fill a sort of emptiness, "a longing in the other to prove their own feelings are alive" (May, 1969, P. This fits perfectly with May's first motive for depersonalized, confused, and uncaring sexual preoccupations: the need for lovers to be identical to their partners. The Second is Sex, Lust or Libido.

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