Life will always have its up and downs, but when will the downs stop? From the first things I can remember it has always been to be true to your heart and great to the woman in your life. Where have I gone wrong? Maybe a better question may be where have I gone right? I have always tried to be a good person but it never seems to be the right thing for me. Why? That's a question I will ask myself until the day I die. Some days I wish that day would get here quicker than others. This is not something that a person like me should ever think of but when you have lived a life like mine you would question why I am still around today. That's something I can't even answer. I just don't know where I go wrong in life. Not just in relationships but everything. Now I can't even manage to find a job so I may support not only myself but the woman in my life who I absolutely adore. Relationships for me are like eating. It looks really good for awhile then you consume all you have and eventually it passes on like the last meal. I do give everything I have when it comes to the girl in my life. I really try to give her everything I possibly can. For some reason nothing I do is ever enough for her and I really don't know how to handle it anymore. Why should I live my life always feeling like a total loser because no matter what I do it's never the right thing? I just don't get it and maybe I never will. I'm at a point in my life where I really don't care what happens to me anymore. I sometimes wish that other car would swerve in my lane and hit me so I could finally have some peace and put my mind at ease. I know that's not the right thing to be thinking but what else do I do in my situation? I'm jobless, I hardly have a home to live in, I have three boys with another on the way which I can't even afford to have, and the girl that I have in my life thinks that I cheat on her and she's pretty
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