OK, so guys are stupid and compete with each other in endeavors more pointless than ABC's Thursday night lineup. But at least we're honest with ourselves, girls. You've at least got to give
             us that—hey, it's more than we can say for you.
             Ask a guy what he wants in a girl. Chances are he'll mention intelligence,
             confidence, fun, etc. But you can be damn sure somewhere on the list, closer
             to the top than not, will be attractiveness. Looks. Hotness, desirability, bootiliciousness
             — whatever you want to call it, men want it.
             Damn straight we're superficial. And you know what? It doesn't matter. Acknowledge
             something, give it acceptance, and it ceases to be an issue.
             Yeah, we care. And yeah, girls know it. Which leads to things like eating disorders,
             low self-esteem and Cosmo. This sucks a lot.
             But at least it's out there. You can accept it, deal with it. The opposite
             of girls, guys are told from an early age their looks don't matter that much
             (though the importance of paycheck size is never in doubt). Be a nice guy, be
             a provider —that's what's important.
             Then, when it turns out looks are important, we're confused. We've been
             lied to, led astray. Goddamnit, if you'd just admit it matters what we wear,
             we'd be more than willing to dress up a little. But you keep saying it doesn't
             and then act all standoffish because we're wearing a Weezer T-shirt and our
             We might not mind a little more pressure to conform if it meant expectations were
             clearer. Hey, I think I could handle constantly dieting; at least then I'd know
             my oversized ass was why I never get hit on. As it is, I'm left to assume I
             must not have presented a convincing enough image as a future husband. Or was
             it because I lost that pool game? Uncertainty's a bitch.
             So we're superficial dicks. You're never going to hear a man go: "Well, yeah,
             ...