Focus Man
             I am an experienced "type-A" personality. This desire to control my environment was passed down as other families pass down china antique china. . I forfeited my youth for the illusion of power and control. From the outside looking in, it looks as if I would feel deprived, but you never miss what you have never had. I decided early that drugs were not conducive to complete control. At 19 years old, I experienced the freedom of releasing that control.
             On Valentines' Day weekend, my fiancé decided that we would drive from Austin, TX to Houston, TX for a romantic weekend. I abhorred long car rides, because I would be fearful about how many drivers were either drunk or exhausted. This anxiousness would lead to recurrent panic attacks, which always led to frequent stops so that I could catch my breath, hence a very long ride.
             The first time I tried marijuana, it was under duress. My fiancé', Dwayne, was fond of the "altered" states. He had tried throughout our relationship to get me to try smoking weed, which I adamantly refused. This trip he was resolute on my trying marijuana, because he refused to stop the car until we reached Houston. We were going to make the trip in the average three hours "come hell or high water," he stated. I began to take him seriously when he truly refused to stop no matter how much I begged. After about an hour, I was an emotional mess. Once I had exhausted all of my pleas for his reconsideration, he looked at me, with that mischievous gleam in his eyes, and offered me a drag of his joint. I was appalled and obstinately refused.
             After passing a few more erratic drivers, I abruptly snatched the putrid smelling, retarded looking cigarette and proceeded to take a long, hard drag of the harsh smoke. I was so wound up that I did not experience the signature coughing spasms of first-timers, I just felt a warming sensation of my ea...