Experience is considered to be one of life's greatest teachers. Lieutenant Jimmy Cross of Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried" and the narrator of Raymond Carver's "Cathedral" both learn a lesson from an experience that causes them to change their outlook by the end of the story.
             In "The Things They Carried" Lieutenant Jimmy Cross leads a group of men during the Vietnam War. He carries with him pictures and letters from a girl named Martha; his mind is constantly occupied with thoughts of her. "Lieutenant Cross gazed at the tunnel. But he was not there. He was buried with Martha under the white sand at the Jersey shore." (416) As lieutenant he internally carried the responsibility for the lives of his men. Soon another weight is added to the lieutenant's burden. Ted Lavender, one of Lieutenant Cross's men, is shot in the head; the lieutenant blamed himself for this. " He hated himself. He had loved Martha more than his men, and as a consequence Lavender was now dead, and this was something he would have to carry like a stone in his stomach for the rest of the war." (418) Through Ted Lavender's death, Lieutenant Cross is forced to come to grips with reality. He goes to the bottom of a foxhole; here he grieves for Ted, and even more for Martha. He faces the fact that she does not love him and that he can no longer go on living in a dream world. He realizes that this dream world has been a distraction. He burns Martha's letters and pictures. This is his way of letting her go, but he can not let go of the guilt he feels for Lavender's death. " He was now determined to perform his duties firmly and without negligence."(424) He accepts the blame for Lavender's death and begins leading his men in an impersonal manner. Through the death of one of his men, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross is reminded that, "His obligation was not to b...