Success at Failing to Succeed at Failing to Succeed at Failure
             Pay attention! Read, listen and learn from the master. Failure, as an objective, is much like meditation in that is so simple that
             one has the tendency to make it overly complicated. Relax and observe a seasoned pro's step-by-step blueprint for failing
             First one must establish the right relationship with one's teacher. This can be achieved in several ways and in many different
             situations beginning with the in-class attitude. Arrive late or not at all. This will present your teacher with a glaring depiction of
             your attitude toward his or her class. Take a seat at the back of the classroom, put your feet up on your desk, and (this is
             important) fold your arms. This type of closed body language shows that you are totally unwilling to learn.
             In the event that your teacher singles you out for one-on-one communication, be prepared. What follows is a list of phrases
             guaranteed to lower your teacher's opinion of you:
             "Sir, what are ya talkin' about?"
             "Sir, you're funny lookin'."
             "Sir, can I borrow your book, pen, paper and imagination?"
             With your demeanor now well in check, we can focus on your work ethic. As a general rule, the most efficient way to fail any
             course is to abstain from meeting the course work requirements. In this case, however, the more you flaunt your sloth, the
             better your chances become of succeeding at failure. Draw attention to yourself with questions like:
             "Sir, when was that essay due?"
             "Sir, did we have any homework?"
             "Sir, what does 'n-a-r-r-a-t-i-o-n' mean?"
             The religious practice of these simple steps should land you a big, juicy UTE (Unable to Evaluate) on your next progress
             report. There are, of course, always deviations from the norm. For instance, your
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