1. What is the leading cause of death with lesbians?
             2. How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?
             Answer: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into her disk drive.
             3. What can Life Savers do that men cant?
             4. What is good on pizza but bad on *censored*?
             5. Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
             Answer: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.
             6. How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
             Answer: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.
             7. What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy together?
             Answer: a red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
             8. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
             Actual Label Instructions on consumer goods:
             On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
             (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
             On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
             Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
             On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
             On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
             On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
             On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
             Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
             On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
             On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
             (But wouldn't that save more time?)
             On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
             Do not drive car or operate machinery.
             (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction incidents if we
             just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
             On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
             On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
             (As opposed to use in outer space?)
             On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
             On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
             On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
             Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
             ...