riends, bedrooms, pets, church, and schools.” 1 A change in normal, everyday interaction takes place. These differences cause feelings of loss. When children are put into caretaking parental roles, it creates a loss for them of their normal activities. “The necessary psychological, and emotional levels of loyalty, trust, security and safety, being loved and cared for and having a sense of belonging that children need. . . . ,” are influenced by the way the parents act during and following the divorce. 2 Parents must be aware that children are self-centered because they are children. Children will wonder what they have done to cause the divorce, and also wonder what they can do to fix the problems. Although they are resilient and adapt to changes, including divorce, “their sense of self is affected during moments of loss.” 3 Children can not express the whole picture of how they are feeling, so their emotions are expressed through their behavior. “ Behaviors such as pouting, being obnoxious, selfishness, being scared and lying. . . . ” are all signs of loss. 4 Children are not adults and they can confuse their realities. Both adolescent and adult children need to understand their history. Children may fantasize about reconciliation or that they are powerful. They do this in order “ to stop a feeling of powerlessness they feel for their parents and for themselves.” 5 They realize their life has changed, the people they love are acting differently and this is hard for them to deal with. It is during these times of realization that the emotions come in waves. It is very similar to an ocean. Calm for a period of time and then a huge wave comes out of nowhere. The emotional response feels overwhelming. The experience of loss often triggers emotions of a past experience of other losses. During this time their self-esteem feels damaged and “they do not like who they are or how th...