from those intended because the situation is more complicated then assumed. Third, the situation is extremely fragile. The conflict may evolve in very different ways depending on the behavior of just a single person. Sometimes we walk a tight rope throughout the conflict, yet we manage to avoid a fall. The tension, unpleasantness, uncertainty and fragility of the conflict situations make them hard to face. Entering a conflict is often like making a bet against the odds; you can win big if the odds are in your favor, but so many things can go wrong that few people are willing to chance it. This is why we feel compelled to remind others of positive conflict outcomes because too often the destructive results are all we remember.
             The key to working through conflicts, is not to minimize its disadvantages, emphasize it's positive functions, but to accept both and try to understand how conflicts move in destructive or productive directions. The most important feature of conflict is interaction. Conflict interactions take many forms, and each form presents special problems and requires special handling. The type of interaction that most of us our familiar with involves shouting matches and competition in which each party tries to defeat the other. But conflicts can also be subtler. Most people's reactions are to suppress it. They avoid confrontations either because they are afraid of possible changes that may result or because it simply isn't worth fighting over. This response is as much a part of the conflict process as the open struggle associated with conflict.
             In distinguishing the differences between productive and destructive conflict interactions. One difference is that productive conflicts realistic, which means they focus on substantive problem the parties can potentially solve, while nonrealistic conflicts are mainly expressions of aggression designed to defeat or hurt the other. The attitu...