Cameras fade in to a ferocious crowd. Signs can be seen all around the arena with such phrases as "Moosing aint easy", "Assassinate me!", "I'm Loco Baby", and one in the nose bleed section, "Nurse Naughty, Let's Play Doctor."
Starvin: Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the Mayhem in Edmonds, Washington. I'm Starvin Marvin . . .
Starvin: Tonight we have an amazing lineup for you.
Jimmy: Well I don't know how great it's going to be. We've got to see blood. It's all about the blood.
Starvin: Whatever . . . what a great way to start Mayhem, with a cage match.
Jimmy: It will be interesting to see some of our new talent in action.
Suddenly, loud bass begins pumping through the PA. Out jumping onto the stage is "Ghetto Bastard" Johnny Dump. Dump's gold chains glisten with a blinding light. He dances around for the crowd. He spins and turns and then suddenly stops and yells out to the crowd.
The crowd responds back with screams and yells.
Jimmy: Actually, no. He is just a Vanilla Ice wanna be. He can't wrestle.
Starvin: I don't know, Jimmy. I have heard some very crazy things things about this guy in the amateur leagues.
Dump gets to the ring and walks through the door and into the cage. He begins popping his neck in preparation for the matchup.
Suddenly, the arena suddenly turns blue as "Jump Around" begins blasting through the PA. A shadow appears at the top of the stage, it's MadDog MCarty!!! He lifts a microphone to his mouth.
The crowd explodes as MadDog begins walking straight to the ring.
Jimmy: This is my guy. I am putting all my money on him.
MadDog raises the microphone to his mouth to speak again.
MadDog: I find it interesting Vanilla . . .
MadDog: . . . that your first match is with me. Everyone knows, homie, that I am a much higher caliber . . . (pause) sorry . . . let me use words that you can understand. Mez gotsta be a more ghetto jiggy fly wrestler with mad skill than you beez. Under...