who has found, and who sees, neither mere individual fellow people to be loved or hated, nor mere conventionism nor customs or laws to be obeyed, but social cause, or some system of causes (Royce, 1969). "In all the ages of civilized life there have been people that have won in some form of consciousness of loyalty, and who have held to such a consciousness through life. Their cause has forbidden them to doubt and this cause must indeed be rational, worthy, and no object of a false devotion. But once found, it must become ones special ideals, and ones plans"(Royce, 1969). Hence, this conscious will establish a moral code by which to live by and will influence the social-wills in a family's evolution.
             Becoming loyal is a constant lifelong process. "Ethical standards such as loyalty, are product of ones upbringing. Generally, integrity, honesty, courage, and loyalty are a building block of an individuals ethos, the code of ethics by which he or she lives. This moral code is shaped and influenced- both positively and negatively- through out a persons life by parents, relatives, friends, teachers, pastors and other role models" (Oldenquist, 1965).
             Loyalty must be put to work to be alive and growing. Loyalty is something that families cannot just talk about; it must be lived everyday. Loyalty will create an attitude of trusting and believing that result in changed behavior (Royce, 1969).
             As an example, I have a story that my spouse had shared with me about loyalty in her family. Cynthia, when she was thirteen, had an emotional argument with her mother. Cynthia's mother was extremely upset with her and Cynthia was mad at her mother for confronting her. At the time Mrs. Walker was feeling hurt, unappreciative, angry and frustrated. The discussion escalated until Cynthia said, "Why can't you just leave me alone, I wish I weren't in this family and I wish you weren't my mother." Cynthia di...