How can we most effectively, which is to say frankly but graciously, talk about the importance of fatherhood and the calamity of fatherless- ness?
             I start by making it as clear as I can that my aim is not to bash single mothers, millions of whom are raising their children heroically and successfully with little help from men. But every once in a while there is the case were men have been worked over by their ex-partners and the "system" when it comes to visitation and similar issues. These cases do not only come from men themselves, but also from angry mothers. It is at this point that I would like to say that life does not always work out as planned.
             Having said all this, I begin to make the case that while literally millions of children are growing up in single parent homes and may be doing well. There are also millions of other children growing up in intact, two-parent families that may be doing poorly. Generally speaking though, in the main, children who are forced to grow up without their biological or adoptive fathers at home tend to do worse than other children when it comes to education, crime, and every other measure we know.
             It seems to be that this three-pronged qualifier is essentially a warning about the effects of growing up fatherless. It is remarkable though how many people have a hard time distinguishing between what is true about father absence in large settings (such as neighborhoods and nations) versus what may be true about it in their single homes. Many single moms want people to know that not only are their kids doing just fine, but that they also are doing appreciably better than when they lived with their invariably abusive fathers and husbands.
             In response to these testimonials, I congratulate the single mothers on their devotion and good fortune, but note that the lesser fortune of a disproportionate number of other similarly situated families. I repeat
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