ormones are flowing in new ways. Youth's sexual feelings may be so strong that they are not directed toward particular persons or situations, but seem to emerge without cause. As they get older they will figure out whom they are really attracted to. Boys with truly gay feelings find that, over time, their attractions to boys and men get more and more clearly focused. Some gay boys may find themselves falling in love with classmates or maybe developing a crush on a particular adult man. They may find these experiences pleasurable, troubling, or a mix of the two. By age 16 or 17 many gay kids start thinking about what to call themselves, while others prefer to wait.
             "I was thrilled the first time I saw someone wearing a pride pin and was able to get some information from him. The first time that I went to a gay group, it was quite simply a relief." P.J. Smith (Personal communication, November 23, 1999).
             Naturally, you think about finding an outlet for your sexual feelings. Becoming a healthy sexual person is part of the coming out process. You may be scared at the prospect of having sex. This is normal for everyone. No one should start having sex until they are ready. Until then, you may choose to masturbate or fantasize. Sex should only happen between mature individuals who care about each other. You will know when the time is right. We all choose to have sex in different ways, whether we are gay or straight. Gay men choose from a wide range of sexual practices, including masturbation, oral sex, anal intercourse, kissing, hugging, massage, wrestling, holding hands, cuddling or anything else that appeals to both partners. You are in complete control over what you do sexually and with whom.
             "I feel that the topic of safe sex must be breached directly, and if it is truly a good relationship, talking about safer sex will not cause problems." P.J. Smith (Personal communication, November 23, 1999).
             All sexually...