there are few words in our
vocabulary to describe it. Three of the most commonly used terms--bereavement, grief, and
mourning--are often used interchangeably. "Mourning refers to the conscious and unconscious
process that (1)gradually undo the psychological ties that had bound you to your loved one (2)help
you to adapt to his/her loss, and (3)help you to learn how to live healthily in the new world without
him/her" (Rando 12). "Bereavement is the state of having suffered a loss. To be bereaved means
Losses may be of two kinds. First, they may be physical. This means that they are tangible,
something you can touch. Examples of a physical loss include your husband or wife through death,
having your car stolen, or your house burning down. Losses also may be symbolic. Symbolic losses
are psychosocial in nature--related to the psychological aspects of a person's social interactions.
Examples of a symbolic loss include getting a divorce, or losing status because of a job demotion,
or losing a friendship after an argument. Some losses are competency-based. For example,
graduating from high school or college, having a Grief 3
child leave home, achieving a long-worked for goal, or terminating therapy are experiences that
The immediate reaction to death, is likely to be one of shock or numbness. For a few hours
or days, the bereaved remain in a dazed state in which they can hardly meet emotionally at all.
Numbness is followed by the onset of the pangs of grief, episodes of painful pining for the dead
person. These reflect an intense wish to get the dead person back in some form, or other. At times,
bereaved people will even experience a strong sense of the presence of the deceased. Sights and
sounds may be misinterpreted as indicating his/her return, and vivid dreams occurring in a half-
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