Have you ever felt hostility in a relationship and could not figure out where it came from? It may be that the hostility stemmed from resentment that you did not even know existed. Often we resent someone without even recognizing it because we admire something about him or her that we are not capable of achieving for ourselves. I not only agree with Karen Horney's statement that "it is contrary to human nature to sustain appreciation without resentment toward capabilities that one does not possess," but we must also recognize that this envy is complicated by gender so that we do not allow resentment to hinder a relationship with someone of the opposite sex without being aware of the role gender plays.
             It seems evident what Horney means in saying "it is contrary to human nature to sustain appreciation without resentment toward capabilities that one does not possess." Clearly she is saying that a person may appreciate a characteristic or ability of another person, but if the admirer is not capable of this quality he or she appreciates, then he or she will have some feeling of resentment toward that person. For example, if I admired my friend's ability to paint extremely well but I were not artistic at all, I could appreciate her ability only with some degree of bitterness because of the sense that I could never achieve what she has. This is completely logical. When envy such as the previous example is between two people of opposite sex, things get complicated. Since Adam and Eve, man has had some sort of sense that woman is inferior. All through the Bible women are submissive to their husbands. These views of men and women still carry on. The very idea of a man being jealous of a woman frustrates males because "male is the better gender." Men tend to discriminate against women and hold double standards for men and women. Women, on the other hand, do not like
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