To fall in love is such a wonderful thing, and it can only get better as time goes on,
right? Sometimes, though, certain circumstances come together and love doesn't
get better over time. In fact, it gets worse. you begin to feel suffocated by someone
and their insecurities start to overwhelm you.
In the recent past I ended a two year abusive relationship. When I started
going out with this boy I thought that I was instantly in love. Anything he ever
thought I might have wanted, I got. I was in heaven. My parents loved him, he was
friendly, knew so many people, and he never hit a girl in his life. Who new I'd be
the first?
When we started to fall in love I wanted to be with him everyday, and he
wanted to be with me. We were never apart and as happy as anyone could be. It
was like a typical love story. But, about seven months later the dark clouds began to
role in and the rains came. At first it was the guilt trips. If I wanted to go out with
my friends he'd make me feel like a horrible person for not wanting to spend that
time with him. So day by day time went on, and outside of work and school I saw
nobody but him. He consumed all the free time I could possibly have. That's when
the loneliness set in. I had no one to talk to about things that bothered or upset me.
Every time I tried to talk about something in my life he would tell me to stop. He
didn't want to hear anything except for what a great guy he was or how much I
loved him. None of it was true. I cringed every time I had to say it. My love slowly
molded itself into hell for me.
Now that I wasn't allowed to hang out with my friends, all I did was hang out
with him and his alcoholic friends. Talk about making the best of your high school
years. I had to dress a certain way to impress his friends, and I got to sit in a cloud
of disgusting cigarette smoke and watch them get drunk and play video games. And,
at th...