I had always known that in some way shape or form I was not mentally stable. I also felt that I was some how different from every one else because none of my peers could relate to me at all, due to my state of depression. Depression has taking a big part in my life. I had to deal with cooping, trying to find my self, and Learning to set goals.
             When I was first diagnosed with depression at the age of sixteen the hardest thing for me to do was to except it. I had to face the facts that unintentionally I received depression hereditarily from my mother, who dealt with depression practically all her life. Most of the time when I went to see my psychiatrist and my psychologist I felt the need to hide my true feelings by being phony and not giving doctors all the truth about how I was feeling. I didn't want to let them in my head too much because I thought they would think I was crazy. The only thing that I could possibly do besides getting on and off of anti-depressants and sleeping pills was to crutch on drugs and alcohol. Every weekend when I told my mother I was spending the night over my best friend's house and we weren't going anywhere, we both would actually go drink and smoke with her cousin and her cousin's friends.
             Smoking and drinking had become just an appetizer to me and I needed to lash out even more while I was dealing with trying to find myself. Trying to find myself consisted of finding my sexuality, wondering what my purpose was on this earth, and learning to set goals. At this time in my life I was confused to the third degree. My sexuality was completely unknown. I didn't know who or what I wanted to be with. In the meantime I prayed for God to lead me in the right direction and to take the negative thinking of suicide, murder, and tampering with the law out of my mind.
             Learning to set goals was another obstacle. After attempting suicide and being released from Windsor the medical i...