For the past eight years, I have been trying to kill myself at least fifteen times a day. It begins at seven in the morning while I sip my first cup of coffee. I make sure I use non-fat coffee creamer, along with a sugar substitute. I am really trying to cut down on my fat and sugar intake these days. It is known that neither one of them are good for the body. As I lean toward my kitchen window, I inhale the crisp morning air. What a beautiful day to kill a spirit.
             My efforts to bury myself my six-feet deep began one day while I was driving to New York. I had this sudden urge to do harm to my body. I was so bored with the five hour drive. I needed to do something. I told myself I would only do this a few times.
             I usually try to self destruct twice on the way to work. Prior to this, I am buckling my seatbelt. I have seen some horrific car accidents, and that certainly does not look like the way to go. Buckle up for safety!
             While at work, my suicide attempts continue. In between these attempts, I walk one mile during lunch and eat a healthy salad that consists of a light dressing. A person should exercise one hour per day in order to remain fit and healthy. I never want to get obese, and put strain on my heart. Walking is a great for the cardiovascular and pulmonary systems.
             I flirt with death at least two more times on my ride home from work. If I am in traffic, I might even try one more time for kicks. I stop at the grocery store to pick up dinner, which consists of a lean chicken breast, rice, and a leafy green vegetable. I might even grab a diet coke, although I drink water through out the day. Water is nourishing for you skin, and I want to avoid wrinkles for as long as possible.
             Once my healthy meal is consumed, I drink one more glass of water with my daily multi-vitamin. I take a hot bath, brush and floss my teeth, drench my face with three different anti-wrinkle lotions, and ...