God allowed me to be born into the ideal Christian home. My parents took us to church three times a week, had family devotionals, prayed before every meal, and set impeccable examples for us four children to observe and follow. They taught us about God, and through them I learned about His grace, forgiveness, patience, and love.
             I became a Christian at age eleven. My dad baptized me one night in our swimming pool because I was terrified of walking down the aisle during the invitation song. Also, I preferred having just my family and a few close friends there to witness the event. It felt funny to look at my face in the mirror the next few days – I felt like I looked different. It was startling to think that God was actually living inside me now. However, I can't say that from the moment I emerged from the water, my life completely turned around and I was transformed. After all, I was still pretty young. I wasn't even sure what struggles or doubts were, and definitely didn't feel threatened by them. So for several years, I floated along, content in my naive ideas of God and Christianity. I received a real shock in high school when I was hit hard by the some realities of life.
             In 9th grade, I lost my best friend, and soulmate, Jamie, to drugs, sex, and parties. The next year I changed schools and had to start over being the "new girl." A few years later, during my senior year, several other traumas pulled me away from God. My younger brother, Chase, was diagnosed with a rare heart disorder. That same week, my grandma died. Then my dad had to take off work for awhile to have serious neck and spinal surgery.
             Unfortunately, instead of putting my faith in God during these tough times, I blamed Him. What was I doing wrong? I thought that these things couldn't happen to Christians. And when we pray for stuff, aren't we supposed to get the answer we want?
             Thankfully, my decision to come t...