What would it be like to go through life without ever having a friend? Well, at first it might seem to be a horrible idea, but after careful thought and examination one can conclude that a friend is more work than it's worth. Think about never having to put up with the annoying antics and emotions that come with each and every friend. Sure, at times it could become lonely, but pets will always suffice. There are certain steps that should be taken when trying to become friendless. By following these steps, it is possible to go through life without the annoyance of having a friend.
             Personal hygiene is probably one of the best ways to ward off friends. There are many different ways of doing this, but I know of a few that will definitely do the trick. By wearing the recommended "Salmon Loaf Deodorant" a person will scare off people before they even try to make conversation. Also, refusing to change underwear and showering monthly will often wreak havoc with nearby nostrils. But for those potential friends with nasal blockage or just a bad sense of smell, a person will have to use more visual effects to frighten those people away. By refusing to brush teeth, deposits of food will collect and produce a nasty sight. Also, by discontinuing the use of a razor, a person's face will start to look like a scraggily mess. After these hygiene revisions any person should now be nearly friendless, although a few people will still have audacity to speak with them. For these few people that will still make conversation, the next two sections of this paper should persuade them otherwise.
             Social behavior is a substantial factor when trying to avoid friends. Off the subject remarks is a great start to annoy any potential friend. A person should wait till the speaker is about ready to state the focal point of their dialogue then jump in and ask a totally off the subject question. This will madden even
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